Trump 2.0: Too Real To Be Funny
My November 20, 2024 Spy editorial.
We now know that Donald Trump personally chose the nominations of Gaetz, Hegseth, and Kennedy. These nominations are not outliers. They reflect who Trump is and how he plans to govern as president. Get ready for another four years of chaos, mismanagement, and scandal.
Although I have been hoping to write about something other than Mr. Trump, his transition has prevented that. I was gobsmacked by Matt Gaetz's nomination to serve as Attorney General. Then Pete Hegseth was nominated to head the Defense Department. Mr. Hegseth does not look like a Secretary of Defense.
I devoted my weekly column in Spy Community Media’s newspapers serving Maryland’s Eastern Shore to the Trump transition. My column is below and here.
Trump 2.0: Too real to be funny?
The writers at Saturday Night Live see the emerging Trump administration as ripe material. You know the drill. An old, obese, convicted felon with progressive dementia has won the presidency and starts surrounding himself with buffoons.
Although the president-elect doesn’t write much, he has a list of criteria to guide his selections. Nominees must be in your face, over-confident, inexperienced, 100 percent loyal to him, and have at least one skeleton in their closet.
Such criteria for nominees ensure that, despite Trump’s personal decline, he will always consider himself superior to those who work for him.
Since November 5, we have gotten a taste of the type of person who meets the criteria. People accused of sexual assault, with histories of substance abuse, who believe in conspiracy theories, and who don’t hesitate to call undocumented migrants garbage.
If Jeffrey Epstein were alive, one can imagine Trump appointing him to be Secretary of Education.
Personnel decisions are not the only part of Trump 2.0 that is not funny. Have you read the social media posts of Trump’s new director of communications, former director of communications for the Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC) Steven Cheung? Mr. Cheung called Ron Desantis “a eunuch,” joked about President Biden needing his diaper changed, and ridiculed Nikki Haley for not ending her campaign against Trump when her defeat seemed all but certain. Cheung tweeted, “The Nikki Haley candidacy is just one giant masturbatory fantasy for Never Trumpers and Democrats.”
And Trump took time off from the task of building Trump 2.0 to attend a UFC fight — events where those lucky enough to be in front-row seats are sometimes splattered with the blood of bare-fisted fighters. Trump attended the event with Elon Musk (I don’t know if he was wearing an “Occupy Mars” t-shirt) and RFK, Jr.
How many 78-year-old fans does “ultimate fighting” have? Will senior MAGA members start filling arenas? Will attendees get a choice between beer and Ensure?
The real comedy of Trump 2.0 will start when his underqualified team takes over on January 20, 2025. Screw-ups are all but certain, especially at the Departments of Defense, Justice, and HHS. And some may consider Tulsi Gabbard giving American secrets away to Russia funny. I don’t. And far from funny will be the damage that will be done to all parts of the U.S. government.
If we did not know better, we might believe that Trump remains so angry after being rejected by voters in 2000 that the retribution he promised to deliver, which will soon begin, will be directed against all of America, not just the justice system and media figures who criticized him.
I agree with your commentary, John. This is a clown car with no brakes.